Just for one day
by SisterSnorfl
Summary: When their work partnership finally ends, Tommy and Barbara must face what happens next. After a brief meeting in the garden, Tommy thinks it will head one way, but Barbara has very different plans. Will they be able to resolve their differences? P.S. I have decided to do what other authors here do - release this over a few days in cliffhanger chapters...
1. Chapter 1

Author's disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters and Inspector Lynley remains the property of Elizabeth George. This is written purely for entertainment, and no profit is derived nor sought.

Warning: This story is written in the erotic fiction genre. It is rated MA, contains graphic sex scenes, swearing and uses adult words to describe sexual parts. I make no apologies for this. If you read this note and still choose to read on then become offended, it was your choice. No one forced you - least of all me.

* * *

Foolishly I had offered to host the party to celebrate my promotion to Commander at my house. I had caterers to manage the food and being summer I had insisted on using my yard to stop the Met's finest spilling their beer and sausages on my best Persian rugs. Actually, I had removed the rugs - one can never be too careful.

It was almost midnight, and most of them were starting to drift away. I had made my speech and remembered to thank everyone, but to be honest, my words had only been for one person, Barbara. For thirteen years she had been at my side, and I was going to miss her. I had been trying to weave my way towards her for an hour, but people kept stopping me with a hearty slap on the back or a casual through clearly rehearsed speech about wanting to join my new unit. I should be flattered, but I knew most viewed Cyber-Terrorism as the future of policing.

The only person who had not asked to join me was Barbara. I knew her views and respected it. Her skills were reading people, not machines, and nothing I said convinced her that she could help understand the people behind those machines. It had been a desperate ploy as there was no opening for her but I did not want our partnership to end. As I moved in the yard, I was assailed by a constable who was about to leave. After listening to his sales pitch, I was growing irritable. "Have you seen Sergeant Havers?"

"She was in the yard a while ago, up the back."

I began searching near the fence. I heard a rustle behind the hedge. "Barbara?"

"No."

I smiled at her reply. After listening to everyone else, it was good to hear her voice. I pushed my way between the branches. Leaves flicked in my eyes and my hair caught briefly on a twig. "Why are you hiding in here? I've been looking for you."

"I...I needed some time."

I finally reached her and could see she had been crying. "Oh, Barbara. Don't be upset."

"I'm not. I'm happy for you. You deserve it. Your speech was..." Barbara let out a muffled cry.

I moved close to her. "I meant every word. You've been my rock. I would never have made it without you. And I will miss listening to you whinging every day about traffic or paperwork or poncy lords with no idea about the real world."

Barbara wiped her eyes and nodded. "Me too. I'm sorry. I wasn't going to let you see me like this."

I put my arms around her and pulled her close. Tears wet my shirt. "Don't Barbara. It's not the end."

"But it is! It really is."

I grabbed her by the arms and pushed her back against the fence. I was going to reassure her that we would find a way. When I had been made DCI, it had been easy. Even as Superintendent I had been able to take Barbara as my office sergeant. She had kept everyone in order, and we had even been able to work together, with the teams, on the larger cases. Now she was right. We would not be able to work closely together. Suddenly the loss settled on me like a heavy fog. Barbara looked up at me expectantly. Her eyes burrowed into me. I knew I was staring at her. Somewhere in the depths of my mind, I was debating what to say, but words seemed unnecessary. I pulled her to me and kissed her.

I had intended it to be soft and loving, but our mouths crashed together in a fury; tangling tongues battled hungrily for supremacy. Barbara's hands raked through my hair then grabbed handfuls behind my ears and held me to her. My fingers dug into the flesh of her backside. Even through the soft denim of her jeans, I could feel her firm curves. One of Barbara's hands slid down my side and across to my zip. Before I could think of reacting, she had reached inside my jeans and pulled my cock free. I was already so hard it hurt. I groaned loudly into our frenzied kiss. My hands unbuttoned her jeans and pushed them roughly down her thighs. I used my foot to force them below her knees. I lifted her against the cold, rendered brick of my high back fence. My hips spread her legs as I pushed towards her.

Barbara gripped my cock firmly and guided the head past the thin elastic edge of her lacy briefs. She squeezed gently then let go. I rammed myself home. Barbara cried out. I stopped, but her hands were in each of the back pockets of my jeans, and they pulled me deeper. She bit my lip and drew blood. It mingled into our kiss with a coppery aftertaste. She was wet and velvety, moulding exactly to my shape. A heavy musky scent surrounded us. Barbara cooed my name - an intoxicating sound. I had waited years to hear her call me Tommy. She made it sound exotic, almost like the call of a Siren. I closed my eyes and drank in the heavenly sensations; the noise of our uneven breathing, the taste of her skin as I ran my tongue across her neck, the unmistakable smell of desire, and the glorious, slippery heat that gripped my cock hard as she sucked me into her. My balls tightened in anticipation. I wanted to stay buried deep inside her forever, but my hips were moving of their own accord. They were thrusting hard and getting faster and faster. The lace added a roughness to each return that bordered on being painful. I wanted to slow down for her, but she was already beginning to tighten rhythmically around my shaft. The hard bulb of her womb seemed to caress me and instinct as old as life itself stirred in me. I wanted to fill her with my seed. I needed her to be mine and mine alone, so I pushed her harder against the wall and quickened my pace.

In the background, someone had turned up the music. We both stopped and laughed as Mick Jagger sang about being started up. "I'll never stop," I told her and kissed her savagely. With her knees locked around my hips, she manoeuvred me into just the right spot then started to pant heavily. I was angled so that every movement rubbed over the rock hard point of her clit that pressed against the saturated satin of her briefs. Our bodies moulded together as if they had been designed specifically for each other. I had never wanted to fuck anyone as hard as I needed to fuck her now. It was primal... raw... urgent.

As she began to cry out, I kissed her deeply to muffle the sound. I could tell she was struggling to breathe, but I mercilessly blocked her throat with my tongue as I pounded possessively into her. Her fingernails raked down my back as she arched forward, forcing every last millimetre inside her. I continued to thump brutally into her but more slowly and controlled. I made her wait until I was ready until I felt she was at one with me. Her climax engulfed me. I was drawn into an orgasmic vortex. The world became hazy, and I tried to free my lips to cry out. Now Barbara trapped me. As I exploded inside her in waves of pure joy, I screamed deep into her mouth.

I had screwed women hard before but it had always been purely physical. What had just happened was far more than a quick fuck. Barbara had just made love to my soul. She had found a part of me that had been untouched by any woman. I felt exposed and vulnerable, yet safe and loved. She had owned me as much as I had taken her. We stood wordlessly, our heads resting on the other's shoulder. I whimpered twice with small aftershocks. There was a red glow in front of my eyes, and my heart was thumping rapidly in my chest. I moved my head up and kissed her lovingly.

"Sir! Is that you in there? Have you seen Barbara?" I recognised Winston's slurry voice.

"No, I was looking for her," I called back.

"People are wondering where you are. Hillier wants to leave but can't till you come back."

"Just give me a minute."

Reluctantly I withdrew from Barbara's silky pussy. She scrambled to do up her jeans as I tucked my still turgid cock back into my trunks. The front of my jeans was damp from Barbara, and I smiled wondering if anyone would notice. I kissed her softly then pushed my way back through the bushes to my party. I would find her soon, and we could disappear upstairs and make love all weekend.

* * *

I waited until they were gone then snuck through his house. Most of the sycophants were jockeying for position around Tommy or Hillier and the also-rans, like me, were slowly draining the free booze to feed their mind-numbing stupors. I took one last, long look at Commander Tommy Lynley, Eighth Earl of Asherton. He was older and heavier, but still as beautiful as the day I first worked with him. God I was going to miss him. I took a deep breath then slipped away.

As I walked into town, I turned off my phone. I did not want the world to intrude on the night. I caught the bus so I could slowly come down from my high. The neon colours of the night swirled around me, matching my feeling of surreality. As I watched the people leaving their West End shows, I smiled. They looked happy and carefree. _But you haven't just had what I had!_ I closed my eyes and relived the scene. It had been spontaneous and desperate. It was not sympathy for me. I had seen his eyes. He had wanted me; maybe even needed me. The sex was just a physical expression of a deeper need. Finally, we had admitted our secret.

As I walked the last blocks to my flat, my jeans were damp between my legs and rubbed slightly. My insides still felt numb and stretched. It had been a very long time since something human had been inside me and Tommy was much more well-endowed than I had expected. I was sore where he had ground into me but, for the moment at least, I had no regrets. I knew that would probably change tomorrow but for now, the fire that had burned for thirteen years had finally been quenched.

I knew I should shower, but I did not want to wash him away. I slowly stripped off my clothes until all I had on was my panties. I climbed into bed and pulled the blankets up to my neck. The lace pulled unpleasantly as I moved. My hand went down to adjust it. I could feel I was still swollen, and the area was hot. I ran my thumb over the top. It was wet, from him, from me, from us. It instantly aroused me. I wiggled my finger under the lace and between the folds to see what he would have felt. Silky heat. I lifted my finger to my nose and breathed in. A complex sweet aroma reminded me clean bathrooms and pine forests. I wrapped my lips around the end. It tasted of the sea. I imagined us repeating tonight against the wall of his shower with water cascading over us, or against a tree at Howenstowe in that valley near the ocean. I sighed and let my hand slip under the waistband of my panties. Now that I knew what it felt like to have Tommy inside me, my imagination could run free. I closed my eyes and thought about the cold tiles of a bathroom pressing against my back as the heat from Tommy's cock warmed me. I thought of him ramming into me, fast and unrelenting. I almost felt him stretching and pulling my pussy as he thrust in and out. The flat of my finger imitated the rhythm as it rubbed my clit. My other hand crumpled the bedsheets as my back arched off the bed. I thought of his tongue in my mouth and his hands squeezing my bum. Two final hard thrusts and I came, hard and loud. There was no mouth to stifle my cries so I screamed as much as I wanted. Nothing felt as good as it had with him coming inside me but it was close. I kept rubbing myself for as long as I could bear it, trying to hold onto the memory of Tommy inside me. I slowed to a stop and rearranged everything neatly. Tonight I would dream of him, yearn for him to be here, cry for him, and mourn for him. Tomorrow I would wake and start my first day without him.

* * *

Barbara was gone. I searched everywhere despite people telling me they had seen her leave. I was confused and angry. We had just shared a moment so intense I struggled to breathe as I thought about it, and yet she had gone home. I left two messages when her phone went to voicemail. I tried texting.

 _Miss you. Ring me. T xxx_

After ten minutes I tried again. _I need to talk to you. Ring me. T xxx_

I waited half an hour. _Please, Barbara. Ring me. T xxx_

And another thirty minutes. _I want to see you. Talk about our future. Love Tommy._

Finally, it was nearly three o'clock. I knew she had turned her phone off because when I rang it, her voicemail had answered straight away. _Perhaps you're sleeping. I can't. I will come over in the morning. All my love, Tommy._

I tried to sleep. The caterers and last guests had been pushed out the door at two thirty. I needed a shower but it would wake me too much, or that was my excuse. So I took off my shoes and shirt and tumbled into bed. I was exhausted but worried. Why would Barbara leave? Surely she realised I loved her. We could have a future together, and it would be far better than work. I had visions of weddings and children. By the time I send my last text I had planned out our whole lives. I also knew she would have none of it. We would argue, probably viciously, but in the end, we would find common ground. I sighed and rolled over. Barbara needed time. I would give her that. I would wait until morning.


	2. Chapter 2

I didn't switch on my phone before I left. I knew Tommy would have called and if I read his texts or heard his voice, I might not go through with it. I left the phone on the table and grabbed my backpack. I patted my pocket. My passport was there. After one last check of the flat, I pulled the door shut and went out to the cab.

"Where to love?"

"City Airport please driver." I settled back in the seat and closed my eyes. At five o'clock the city was just beginning to stir. Even though it was Saturday, lights were coming on in the windows of houses as people began to prepare for their day. Near Camden markets, lorries turned up narrow laneways to make deliveries and the loud rattling of grills and raising of roller doors drowned out the noise of traffic. London was stretching and yawning ready for another day.

All night I had tried to convince myself I was doing the right thing. Maybe if he hadn't kissed me so lovingly. If it had just been sex... I was going away to learn to live without him, and I had done the one thing last night that meant I could never forget him. "Ahhhh!"

The driver jammed on his brakes and pulled over to the side of the road. "You alright love?"

I could not have been more embarrassed. "Yeah, sorry."

"Man trouble?"

Jeez, did I have it tattooed on my forehead? "Yeah, something like that. I'm... I'm going away for a while."

"Time and space. Always helps, my Edith used to say."

I tried hard not to groan. "Good old Edith. I'm sure she's right."

* * *

It was just before seven when I rang her bell. I waited. I rang it four times before I realised she wasn't going to answer. I dialled her mobile, but it went straight to voicemail. I banged my fist on the door. "Barbara! Open up please, we need to talk."

"She's not here love."

I turned in the direction of the voice. Her neighbour was standing in her dressing gown with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. "Where is she?" I asked lamely.

"Left for Lick ten... Liechtenstein, about five this morning. She'll be back in about two weeks I think. Some sorta retreat thing. No phones, no alcohol, nothing good if you ask me, but she was keen."

"Oh, thank you. I didn't realise she was leaving today." I tried to sound as if I knew her plans. I suppose, in hindsight, it was foolish of me to think Barbara would change the habits of a decade and rush straight into my arms, but at the time that was exactly what I had expected. I figured she had felt it too - that sense of stillness of mind and spirit that only comes when you find someone who balances you completely. For years we had been spinning around each other but last night we had stopped trying to dodge the truth. I couldn't believe she would run from that. Surely she wanted to be happy and loved?

"Trying to forget some fella that broke her heart. Though why she run away from you love, I'm damned if I know." The woman raised her eyebrows suggestively. I felt like a roast lamb being selected for the Sunday roast.

"Broke her heart?" It couldn't be me. I stood staring dumbfounded at the woman. My blood started to boil at the thought of Barbara with someone else. Had I just been a distraction? Someone to make her forget. I couldn't believe it, not the way she had well - there was no other word for it - fucked me.

"Been partners over ten years, she said, and he'd decided to move on. She always thought they'd be together I think. Ah, I can see from your face it was you. Well, I hope you're happy with your new life. I'll miss her when she moves."

"Moves?" My mind was racing. Liechtenstein. Moving. It was all too much. And ten years? It had to be me. But... we weren't lovers, just friends. Then it dawned on me - Barbara had been in love with me for a long time. Last night may have been spontaneous, but I was beginning to see what was happening. Barbara had been saying goodbye.

"To Manchester. She's going to head up a Major Incident Unit. Promotion I think. Her last boss was a bit anal and drove her mad, so it'll probably do her good. You didn't know?"

"Barbara's moving to Manchester?" My head hurt, and my hands start to shake. I was numb. "She can't leave me!"

"Seems she has different ideas. I'd go and punch that boss of hers in the nose if I were you. It's all his fault in my opinion. Some sort of toff I think. No idea about real people she said."

"Thanks, I might just do that," I said, trying to get rid of her. I turned and walked slowly back to my car. Barbara was gone, and it felt as if my life was over.

* * *

The Centre for Spiritual Calmitude was anything but calming. Tucked away near the top of a mountain there was no escape. The minivan came on Saturdays and Wednesdays then disappeared. It dropped anxious new clients and picked up the newly-calm returning to reality. My fellow inmates, or Calmers as the centre preferred to call us, were an eclectic bunch. There was a widow from Norway who sang Italian opera arias from her balcony. She was much more rational than the man who spoke to no one and never took off his hat or sunglasses. I jokingly suggested his nationality to the others based on his sandals worn with black socks. The staff were not amused, chastising me for not respecting his right to anonymity. How was I to know he was a famous German rockstar?

There were three divorcees from Ely trying to purge themselves of their ex-husbands so I tagged along with them. They wanted to know about the man I had left so I told them all the worst bits about Tommy - his moodiness, his stubbornness, his drinking. Heads nodded sagely as they shared their experiences. Their men made Tommy seem ideal and the more they tried to make me hate him, the more I understood how much I loved him. I was miserable.

For twelve days I endured daily mountain hikes, vegetarian food, yoga sessions, meditation sessions and endless rounds of group and individual counselling. I had come to forget about Tommy but I missed him more and more each passing minute, and they were doing nothing to help me put him in the past.

To make it worse, I disliked my counsellor. She had a supercilious sneer underneath a patina of care. To me, it seemed, she cared only about the clinic and money. Dressed in swirling hippy dresses, she floated around as if life were easy. With twenty people paying several thousand pounds for three weeks, it was certainly easy money, when all she did was give me platitudes and tell me time would heal.

Our first sessions had been exploratory group meetings. Everyone revealed their darkest secrets and fears with glee that I found almost ghoulish. I talked about Terry and my parents, but I was not going to share Tommy, not with them. He was not a problem. He was wonderful. The problem was he was too good for me and he'd finally chosen his career over us, whatever we had been. It apparently had meant something very different to what it had meant to me. I felt guilty and foolish for begrudging his choice. I was confused by his reaction at the party. I hadn't ambushed him. I hadn't expected anything like that to happen. I was glad it had, but I had to ignore it. Tommy had slept with far too many women. He tended to look for comfort the only way he knew how. I understood that he would miss us. I knew our years together meant as much to him as to me, but never in a million years would I believe he loved me, well, not the way I loved him.

Finally, I told the counsellors why I was there. I was rapidly re-assigned to a new therapist. I sat nervously in the huge red beanbag under the tree overlooking the valleys while he read my file. "I don't understand why you're here Ms Havers. All the questionnaires and therapy sessions have confirmed one thing; you are in love with him."

"I know that!" I snapped. "I paid good money for these two weeks for you to help me to stop loving him."

"Ms Havers, our sessions are designed to help you understand and come to terms with your feelings and reality. We can deconstruct everything and help you work through your confusion, but we can't make you love, or stop loving."

"Well, what use are you? All this mumbo jumbo of good eating, exercise and deconstructing me. Just put me back together minus the bit about him!"

"Ms Havers, if I can be honest, I don't believe you want to be without him."

"Of course I do. We have no future together. It kills me to be with Tommy when..."

"Ms Havers, you said yourself you were sexually compatible. You told me he was your best friend. In fact, everything you've said to me is a reason you should be together. What you won't consider is that he might feel the same way."

"No, he won't."

"He might. Have you ever asked him?"

"No!"

"Then my advice is to ask, or at least being open enough to wait to see if he mentions it. Otherwise, you will drive yourself mad."

"Is that an official diagnosis?" I spat. "Anyway, I can't. I'm moving away. I have a new job in a new city."

"Are you sure that's what you really want to do?"

* * *

It was nearly 10 pm on Friday night. Couples were scurrying to start their weekends in pubs. The world looked happy, and I wished I was holding Barbara's hand and heading somewhere to grab a pint. She had been gone almost a fortnight. I tried not to think about it but the harder I tried the more she crept into my thoughts and my dreams. The new role was challenging, but most of the work was done by others. I just had to make decisions and attend hours of stupefying meetings with the hierarchy. I had had far too much time to think.

At night I had sat with my bottle of scotch out by the back fence behind the shrubs. A criminal always returns to the scene of his crime, and somehow in that five minutes of what I thought was mutual passion, I had cemented her decision to run away to some sort of clinic hidden in a country people rarely thought of, let alone visited. I had tried not to be maudlin or self-pitying. Instead, I had thought about what she meant to me. I had been in love with her for years. I had told myself repeatedly that I wasn't, but I knew It was a lie. I had fooled myself into thinking it was platonic, but it was Barbara who soothed my mind.

I had been blinded to love by the superficialities of my life. I had believed I knew what love was, but I had been lost in a world of fantasy and illusion. I had expected love to be comfortable and fun and yet I had known it was painful and complicated. Barbara had shown me that it was so much more. She had put my happiness above her own. She had been there every time to pick me up when I fell, but she had never hesitated to point out my flaws. She hadn't idealised me, but she had loved me. I could see that so clearly now. And I had been superficial and patronising in return. I needed to find a way to make her understand that I had finally grown up.

I had used my best persuasive powers on Winston to convince him to give me details of her flight home. He called it harassment and coercion. I called it effective questioning. Either way, I knew her flight landed at 11 pm at City Airport. I had deliberately decided against taking my car and as I sat in the back of the cab I fidgeted like a nervous schoolboy heading to his first date. What to you say to a woman who has gone away for two weeks to learn to forget you? I had one ace up my sleeve, and I hoped it would work.

The flight was slow and bumpy, and I was getting angrier with every mile. I had gone to Lichtenstein for one reason, and although I had improved my fitness and lost three kilos along with a considerable portion of my bank balance, I had nothing to show for it. I now had to start packing for Manchester. I was due to leave on Wednesday ready to start the following week.

"You right love?" I turned to the middle-aged man sitting next to me. He looked unduly concerned. "Don't you like flying? You've been sighing all flight."

"Uh? Oh, sorry. I'm just thinking about things."

"Overthinking by the sounds of it. Just follow your gut love, it rarely leads you astray."

I tried hard not to yell or roll my eyes. "Yeah, thanks."

I saw the lights of London coming into view. I was grateful I had been able to catch the earlier flight. I would be almost home by the time the other one landed.

* * *

I waited anxiously by the railing as the passengers emerged. I counted about 25 until they petered out to nothing. I was positive Winston had not lied so I checked with the desk.

"I'm sorry Sir, but we can't divulge passenger information."

I flashed my warrant card and found my sternest, but most charming, tone. "I'm here to collect Detective Sergeant Barbara Havers. I need to know why she wasn't on that flight and when she will arrive."

"Policewoman you say?" The woman's fingers flew over the keyboard.

"Yes, Detective..."

"She arrived on an earlier flight, about 90 minutes ago."

I smiled with relief. At least she was back. "Thank you," I said quickly, before I raced out to find a cab.


	3. Chapter 3

Two weeks of bills were pushed through the letterbox but otherwise my flat was the same. I threw my dirty laundry into the basket and went for a shower. It felt good to be home but then I realised it wouldn't be home for long. I sighed. Free to sigh as much as I wanted to, I sighed loudly. I screwed my nose up remembering that pompous little man telling me to follow my gut. I doubted Tommy would even speak to me after disappearing like that. And he was bound to know I was going to Manchester by now. I sighed again.

I had put my phone on to charge, and now I thought I should check for messages. I knew I was tempting fate. I hoped he might have rung. I needed to hear his voice. Tellingly, all the messages were from that first night. I assumed he was angry now but that night he sounded happy, disappointed, and confused. All of my emotions were echoed in his voice. There was even an undertone of tenderness that from me to him was love, but from Tommy, it must have been lust. I listened to each message three times. Even like this, his voice soothed a part of me that no one else could touch. "How am I supposed to give you up?"

My thoughts were disturbed by a knock on my door. My heart raced momentarily until I remembered that Mrs Jennings from next door would be checking to see if I got home safely. I took a deep breath before I opened the door.

* * *

Barbara's lights were on. I had no idea what I was going to say to her. The speech I had rehearsed on the way to the airport seemed inappropriate now. I knocked loudly and hoped she would answer.

"Sir!"

She looked surprised but not angry, in fact, she looked relieved. "What happened to Tommy?" I asked with a broad smile.

Barbara blushed. It started at the base of her neck and the colour rapidly moved upwards, engulfing her ears and spreading across her face. I imagined tracing the path with my tongue. She made no move to let me in so I stepped closer. I could feel the electricity between us. Nothing had changed. We still wanted each other. She retreated three paces. I followed her and kicked the door shut.

We stood staring at each other. Barbara's hair was damp and freshly combed. She was wearing an over-sized t-shirt that fell almost to her knees. As my eyes moved down her body, her nipples hardened making the t-shirt ripple. I hadn't come to do this; I had come to talk, but that same need resurfaced. Everything about that night flooded my senses - the sounds of her breathing, that deliciously musky scent and the way she had dragged me deeper and deeper into her silky, wet honeypot. I wanted to make love to her and plan our future, but I also wanted to fuck her senseless, right here, right now.

I took a deep breath then shrugged out of my coat and let it fall to the floor. It was a signal for her to say no if this was not what she wanted. She stole a glance at my crotch. I was already rock hard and straining against the fabric. She licked her lips and left her bottom lip tucked under her front tooth. I wondered if she knew that pose had always driven me crazy. I needed to kiss that pensive look right off her face.

The line between my love and lust was getting blurry. My body ached for her but only because I loved her so much. I can be as shallow as the next male. I had wanted other women before, too many. I had slept with some only because I wanted their bodies or needed to feel close to another human. This was different. I wanted her body because it was Barbara's. She was not classically attractive, but she attracted me. I knew her so well, and she gave my life meaning. There would be time to be angry about her leaving later. Now I just wanted to be buried deep inside her and hear her cry out my name. I wanted her to be mine and me to be hers. I moved closer, never taking my gaze from her sparkling emerald eyes that although tormented and uncertain, beckoned me. We were standing only an inch apart but not touching. I wanted to embrace her, but I waited for her to say something... to do anything.

* * *

I stood unable to move, pinned to the spot by his brooding, liquid stare. 'Come-to-bed eyes' my mother used to call that look. And it was working. I didn't care about the last few weeks. I didn't care about the future. His eyes were stripping me bare yet wrapping me in a soft, warm, and inviting tenderness and my body and mind were betraying me. All I wanted was to feel Tommy inside me again.

"Barbara?"

He wanted a decision. It went against everything I had fought for these last weeks, but I reached out and grabbed his hips. As I pulled them towards me, his lips found mine and he kissed me hard. I pulled his shirt from his trousers and undid his belt and zip then hooked my thumbs into his trunks and pushed them down with his pants. My boldness surprised him, but now they were down I was almost afraid to touch him. I put my hands on the outside of his thighs and ran them slowly up his leg with my thumbs running up the front. He moaned. I felt the first brush of thick hair. My fingers moved up. He had certainly not lost interest while I was away. I caressed him gently. I'd had sex before, but I had never actually explored a man's cock. Usually, it was as it had been with Tommy. The only two men I had been with had wanted to get straight down to business - no time for preliminaries. Now I felt the same way. I needed to have him inside me. I wanted to feel his need and desperation, knowing it was only me who could assuage it.

* * *

Barbara was rushing, but this time, I wanted to prolong the experience. I wanted us to make love to each other, not just satisfy a need that had built up over the years. Her fingers seemed almost too warm as they wrapped around my shaft. Her moves were tentative, and I suspected it had been a long time since she had been with another man. Selfishly, I was pleased, and I hoped that they had been very ordinary lovers. There were so many things that I wanted to be the first person to explore with her. I groaned loudly at the thought as I rocked forward and back very slowly so that her hand went up and down. Her grip tightened as her hand slid over me, imitating my moves. It was far too enjoyable and also too quick. Knowing it was Barbara touching me made affected me far more than just her touch. I realised I had wanted this for a very, very long time.

When her other hand began to knead my balls I fretted that I might come right there. I took a deep breath and let my hands wander down her back. Her bum was firm under my hands as I pulled her close to stop her."We should slow down, Barbara."

"No."

"No?"

"No!"

This was not how I had planned anything. On one level it felt wrong but on another, it was the only way this could play out. "Okay."

I gripped her t-shirt and scrunched it up in my hands, pulling it up her legs until I had the hem. I broke our kiss so I could lift it over her head. She reluctantly raised her arms. I had been watching her face. I think she thought she could stay clothed, but I needed to feel her body against mine. Embarrassment mixed with fear, so I smiled to relax her. I let my gaze wander down as I stepped out of the clothes that puddled around my feet. I would normally never stretch my good shoes by pulling them free while still laced, but at that moment I didn't care if I ruined my entire wardrobe.

My eyes travelled over her large welcoming breasts and down over her curves. Her scars from the shotgun were like thin white streaks across her stomach. They reminded me of our relationship and odd as it may seem, I found them sexy. My eyes continued down, and I gasped. I don't know why, but I had not expected her to be naked. "Oh, Barbara. You're beautiful."

"Nah." She shook her head and tried to reach out and kiss me. I met her mouth with equal hunger. She fumbled with my shirt buttons then ran her hands in burning circles over my chest. My shirt moved across my shoulders, and I stopped massaging her bum to let her push it down my arms.

I smiled as I remembered my socks were still on. "My socks," I said sheepishly as I bent down.

"Forget your socks!" Barbara bent down with me, and we bumped heads. I slipped on her shiny timber, and we tumbled onto the floor.

* * *

I landed on top of him, and the feel of his naked skin against mine was almost too much. Tommy was as self-conscious as I was and that relaxed me. As a man of the world, I thought he would be smooth, and everything would be effortless for him. I had expected him to have a seduction routine and for him to have pushed me against the wall and fucked me hard, just like he had against the fence. I was happy he was nervous. He was only ever anxious about things that meant a lot to him.

His cock was hard and slightly wet as it pressed into my side. Laying on his chest and stomach, I moved around to look at it. I did not have a significant sample to measure him against, but it looked bigger than average. Like him, it was also more beautiful. In magazines, they often had bulging veins and a bend. Tommy's was sleek, with a dark head that literally shone in the dim light. I laughed when he waggled it back and forth as if saying hello. I wriggled down his body and kissed it. It was like fire against my lips. I kissed it again. I had read books but never tried what I had in mind. I hesitated.

* * *

Barbara seemed uncertain. I suspected she had never done it before, and that only made me want it more, but it had to be her choice. "He likes that."

She wriggled forward and kissed the very tip again. Three more times she did it. Each time she opened her mouth slightly further and covered a little more. The fourth time her lips closed around my head. She did not let go and tentatively ran her tongue over it. The air was forced from my lungs in a long, pleasurable sigh. Her hand gripped the base of my cock, and she began to lick my shaft in long, sensual strokes. I soon doubted this was her first time. Part of me regretted that she knew how to do this, and the rest of me rejoiced.

As she worked, I could smell her excitement. Her left thigh was on my shoulder, and she moved slightly so that she was able to push against it. Her soft bush was wet. I reached up and found her thigh and moved my hand down to her knee. I rolled to my right and lifted her leg dipping my face right into that sweet junction.

"Bloody hell!" Barbara stopped what she was doing.

"Mmm, don't stop Barbara." I nuzzled further into her beautifully slippery, engorged folds. She squirmed under my tongue as I forced my way deeper. I ran the very tip back and forth. She tasted tangy and slightly salty, like a ripe fruit in the Garden of Eden. I pulled her closer and plunged into her core.

"Oh good… oh fuck Tommy!" she called out, making me smile. I explored her as deeply as I could reach, running my tongue everywhere, feeling every little ridge as her pussy contracted around me. I began to fuck her with my tongue – in and out, quicker and quicker. I thought she was trying hard not to cum. I couldn't have that – I wanted to drive her wild, be unable to resist. I nuzzled my face closer and gently rubbed my nose around her clit. She groaned and bucked beneath me.

I had only been vaguely aware that she still had my cock in her mouth. She had abandoned the licking and had closed her lips over my shaft, gradually taking more of me. I had registered my head nestled against the soft warmth in the back of her throat. When she cried out, I became aware once again of where I was and realised the gentle rocking of my hips had turned into savage thrusts. I stopped moving, but her fingernails dug painfully into my butt urging me to move. As her pussy tightened around my tongue, she pulled me further into her mouth. All thoughts of hurting her faded as the precipice approached. She flicked her tongue against just the right spot, and I lost all reasoning. I buried my face into her and growled loudly as I exploded.

* * *

Tommy was whimpering as he slowly withdrew from my mouth. Our first encounter had been the best sex I had ever had, but this was even better. I was floating somewhere above my body. He was tickling me, and I realised he was still kissing me down there. It was gentle but almost painful. I savoured the sweet, saltiness of him before I reluctantly swallowed so I could speak. "Thank you."

He swung around and rested his head lightly on my stomach. "I should thank you,' he said earnestly, "that was… unbelievable."

I reached down and ran my fingers through his hair. It was messy and damp on one side. He looked up and smiled. "I lo…" I stopped myself just in time before I blurted out how I felt. No matter how much I wanted to say it, we had too much between us for it to make sense.

Tommy elbowed his way up the floor and kissed me. Unlike our earlier frenzied kisses, this was slow and gentle. He resisted my attempt to kiss him harder. I started to pull away, but he put his hand behind my head and stopped me. His other hand was stroking my back with long, almost ticklish strokes. I gave into the joy of just kissing him.

Eventually, we stopped for air. His hands were still caressing me. I had no idea what to do. "What happens now?" I asked hesitantly.

He pulled me closer. "I think we should find a softer surface. Your hallway is killing my back."


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry about the delay. Real life with its highs and lows intervened… and I haven't been in the mood for love.

* * *

He was right. The floor was uncomfortable but I didn't want to move. I just wanted to lie in his arms forever. Sadly, the euphoria was slowly ebbing, and my heart rate was slowing. All sorts of odd thoughts swirled in my head. What had we just done? My face burned with embarrassment as I thought about it. It had been far too... intimate and carnal. I sat up and reached for my t-shirt.

Tommy sat up behind me and put his arms over my shoulders. "Leave the clothes. We can pick them up tomorrow."

I shrugged free and stood, ignoring him as I pulled my shirt over my head. The clock on the kitchen wall told me it was already tomorrow. "It's late, and it was a long flight."

Tommy stood behind me. "Really? An hour is usually considered a short trip. Are you trying to get rid of me?" His naked body moulded to mine as he embraced me from behind.

I wanted to scream 'yes' but I knew he would misunderstand. I wanted him to stay, so I could fall asleep with his arms wrapped around me, and his body pressed close to mine, but I knew in the morning I wouldn't be able to look him in the eye. Not after doing... that! "No, but what happens tomorrow?"

"At the moment I plan to spend tomorrow in bed. We have a lot of time to make up for." He ran a line of quick kisses along my collarbone and into the soft skin at the base of my neck. I let out a long sigh.

"Tommy! You're not... you know...embarrassed?"

He pulled me tighter and whispered in my ear. "No, do you want me to be?"

* * *

Barbara couldn't look at me. She was clearly self-conscious about what had just happened. It was certainly not what I had expected when I knocked on her door. I was not ashamed, but I could understand why Barbara might be. We had satisfied a primal need. It was lovemaking but not in the romance novel way that Barbara thought of love. I made a silent vow that next time I would resist my baser instincts and prove to her my feelings ran far deeper than a good fuck.

"We both need some sleep," I said gently. Now was not the time to argue about careers and locations. Barbara needed reassuring on a much more basic level.

She nodded and started walking to her bedroom. I followed close behind. Her bed was small - far tinier than a bed should be with two people sharing it. It was going to be a close night, not that I cared.

"Do want a shower or anything?" she asked.

I had used her bathroom before. Her shower cubicle was too small for two. "No, I'm fine."

She still didn't look at me. "Left or right?"

"Barbara?"

"What?"

"Look at me." She hesitated but looked up as high as my neck. I moved closer and put my hands gently on her shoulders. "We did nothing wrong."

"I know."

"Then why are you so... ?" I paused. Did I say embarrassed, angry, shy?

She looked away. "I've never done that before. I... I shocked myself, and you'll think I'm some sort of... trollop."

I had laughed before I considered it might offend her. "Barbara, I don't believe that you're a trollop. This is not 1880 where you have to lie back and think of England while the man has his way. Not that I think that actually happened all that much. Males and females are allowed to enjoy it, and when you love someone, then it's special. People in love have great sex."

* * *

Did Tommy just say we are in love? His words should have gone straight to my heart, but instead, they settled lower in a burning need. It was ridiculous. I had known him for ten years and managed to keep my feelings almost completely in check. Now after one quickie by a fence I couldn't keep my mind, or my body, off him.

I couldn't look at him, but when I glanced away, I saw Tommy's unmistakable reaction. I couldn't help but look. As I stared, his cock stiffened and slowly rose. He took two steps forward and pressed it between us before he leant down and kissed me. I wanted to say no, but his words echoed through my head. People in love. Yes, I was, still was, always had been...

"Don't say it if you don't mean it," I managed to whisper between kisses.

"I mean it. I love you, Barbara. You're my soulma..."

I kissed him so hard we tumbled onto the bed. We laughed briefly as we wriggled up a bit further so we were lying comfortably. "I... I love you too Tommy."

"I know."

"Arrogant." Kiss. "Poncy." Longer kiss. "Pain the.. ah, oh, yeah, just there."

* * *

Barbara was rushing again. I kissed her unhurriedly. Her tongue frantically tried to coax mine to be faster, so I slowed again. Finally, she got the message. Her hands wandered over me as she slowly explored the contours and textures of my back and arms with a pressure so light it felt like silk being rubbed across my skin. My hands had been holding her close, trying to stop her nervous wriggling. Now that she was still I let them wander over her glorious curves that had for too long being hidden by her androgynous clothes. I would take her shopping before we got married. I did not want to change her style and if she was more comfortable in trousers that was all right. She did not need dresses and frills, but I wanted her to understand how sexy she was and indulge my fantasies...

"What's wrong?" she asked.

I had stopped kissing her. I had been thinking about her body and clothes she could wear so that I could enjoy stripping them off her when I realised I intended to marry her. It surprised me until I thought about it. I never intended to let her go, so it was the natural extension, even if my record on that front was not great. "Nothing. I never want us to be apart."

Barbara sighed heavily and rolled away from me. I leant up on my elbow to look at her. Tears welled in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Barbara. I meant that to be something that made you happy."

"It does, but we can't can we? I have to be in Manchester next week."

I was pleased she wanted to stay. "No, you don't."

"I don't know if I'm ready to quit Tommy. What if... what if we don't last? Then I'd have no job, no future..."

"You don't have to quit. That's what I was coming over to tell you. Do you know DI Holbrook?"

"No, I don't think so."

"She leads the Interrogation Squad within the Gang Crimes Unit. Her father has just been put into dementia care in Bolton. She wants a transfer north to be close to him. So I thought you two could swap. You still get your promotion, you would enjoy the role, you'd still get to work with me a lot even though I wouldn't be your boss. So you could stay in London and..." I paused unsure if I should mention my last idea.

"And?" she asked suspiciously.

"And marry me."

"The interrogation squad sounds a little... Orwellian."

Barbara completely ignored my proposal. Well, it was more a statement of intent than a proposal. "It does but it's basically just a group of highly trained interviewers. No cattle prods or waterboarding."

"Damn! I thought I might learn something I could use on you!"

She was smiling so I knew she was joking but my balls still retreated slightly. "Me? And what have I done to deserve torturing?" I leant down and nuzzled into her neck.

"I want to talk to her before I agree. Make sure this is genuine and not stage managed by you."

"I would never joke about a man being ill Barbara."

"Yeah, I know."

"She came to me to see if I could pull strings for a transfer. I said I might have an idea and would let her know on Monday."

"Do I have to take the whole deal?"

"What whole deal?" I mumbled against her neck.

"Ask me in a month."

I frowned. Oh, marrying her. Yes, it was sensible to wait. "Hmm, okay. Barbara?"

"Hmm?"

"We were in the middle of something very important," I said as seductively as I could.

She answered me with a long slow kiss and rolled me onto my back.

* * *

Tommy made love to me slowly. As we kissed, his hands stroked my back, tracing the bumps of my spine one by one. Slowly they moved to the front and cupped my breasts. His fingertips traced their contours in ever-decreasing circles. My nipples hardened painfully but he avoided them, teasing me until I took his hand and placed it there.

"I see,' he laughed, "I can help with that problem."

He caressed them gently, making me groan before he pulled me down. His lips closed over one while his hand fondled the other. He ran his tongue around before flicking it across me. "Oh, my… "

"You like that?" Tommy swapped sides then began to nuzzle between my breasts. His hot breath tickled. Slowly he kissed his way up to my neck, then my ear and across my face. When our lips met it was tender and loving.

His cock was pressed between us and in a swift action I was barely aware of, Tommy lifted his hips and nuzzled it between my legs. I tried to open my legs to give him access but his knees clamped them shut, holding him tightly in place. He began to move so slowly in time with his kiss, gradually forcing his way down between the engorged lips of my pussy. "Oh Barbara, that's wonderful," he whispered as he slid into the silky wetness.

Again I tried to give him room but he had a different plan. He distracted me with a fiery kiss and I did not notice him rubbing the hard length of his cock against my clit until I started to lose myself in waves of pleasure. "Tommy!"

"Mmm?"

"I can't help myself."

Tommy laughed gently and kissed. "That's the idea," he said and with one last cheeky thrust I screamed his name right into his ear.

My ear was ringing in pain but it had been worth it. Just as I thought Barbara was calming, I let her legs fall open and slipped gently inside her. She needed time to recover and I was happy to oblige. I just enjoyed being buried deep inside the woman I loved. We kissed and caressed for a long time until I felt her pussy gripping me harder. I began to move rock back and forth gently, taking my cues from her. She pushed harder and harder against me. It was time. I quickened my pace but it is was still gentle and loving. As she began to purr, I surrendered to the feeling. Almost silently we both came as we stared lovingly into each other's eyes.

"I love you Barbara."

"I love you too, Tommy."

* * *

 **Postscript:**

I knew from his look that he was worried. He had been a bit quiet this morning, but I had assumed it was the court case. But the court had agreed and locked away the young activist for thirty years. He should have been happy. "Is there something on your mind?" I asked as we took our coats and shoes off in his hall.

"Is there something on your mind?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"What's this about Tommy?"

"Do you want a drink?"

"No, I'm fine, but you have one." Tommy got up and poured a large scotch and downed it in one gulp. Now I was worried. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I have two questions, but I don't know which order to ask them."

"Ask the least serious one first."

Tommy came and sat next to me. "Remember that night when I came to your flat after you returned from that clinic? That's not my question by the way."

I smiled at him. "I'll never forget it."

"Well, that was a month ago. You asked me to wait a month. You've all but moved in but will you make it official? Barbara, will you marry me?"

I knew I had turned scarlet and was grinning foolishly. I had forgotten I'd given him a time frame. I had been expecting his question for weeks. I took a deep breath. "Yes." I didn't think I needed to add more.

Tommy smiled, the way he only ever did for me. I expected him to kiss me and for us to make love wildly somewhere in his house. So far only the laundry remained unchristened. "Tommy?"

* * *

I took a deep breath. I knew this could end badly. "My second question is a bit harder."

"Just ask."

"We've been together every night for a month. During that time nothing has... changed our routine."

"You want to be by yourself tonight?"

"No!" I searched for the right words. "No, it's not that at all but I am aware of physiology."

Barbara looked away. "I'd noticed."

"Barbara, are you going to need to take leave in nine months?" I asked bluntly.

Barbara shook her head. "No."

I was disappointed. I had been hoping she might be carrying my child. "Sorry, but... it seemed a possibility."

She looked up and smiled. "You wouldn't mind?"

"Every time we make love I hope it happens. Neither of us is young anymore, and I'd like us to start a family. I have mentioned that a few times." I took her in my arms and hugged her.

"Quite a few." I began to kiss her neck. I had found a spot that drove her wild.

"Remember that night, by your fence?"

"How could I forget?"

"Well, I'd book some leave in about seven and a half months."


End file.
